I am an Artist because of you two…..
a question was posed to me about my children,
about being a mother in particular,
about the feelings it created inside me,
and the life I’m living daily because of it.
I was 21 when I became pregnant with Sophia,
and I was already college educated,
and well traveled,
but being a mother made me an artist,
more than it made me a mother.
I always took photographs and wrote,
in down time I practiced I suppose the term needle-arts,
because I did a large hunk of embroidery in my late teens,
and I have always thought other forms of expression were as integral to my life as basic speech,
but my children crafted me into a woman who turned entirely inward.
I discovered life as a beginner through them.
I began to think remote controls looked alien enough to doodle,
and stories about stuffed animals were intriguing,
I found the physical form of bodies as something spiritual and limitless,
and their constant sense of play and reconfiguration has granted me a freedom with textiles I never thought possible.
They granted me a freedom I’d have never found without them.
with all her strength and stubborn joy and boundless laughter
and then Nicholas,
who is tender,
and so unbelievable in love with the land and nature.
I would never wish to be the woman from before.
My kids have made a mess of me,
and I have loved and cherished every single minute.
I thank them everyday for giving me my Artist,
and the permission to let her make messes, mistakes, and love everywhere…
.even in the tiny things like conversations of lives not lived.
They forgive me my humanity,
and remind me that
I’m better when I am willing to do the same
for both myself